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Nelson........?
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| if there was ever a product for nelson... |
| posted by: publius |
12:33 7.7.10 |
this may be it...
http://pootrapusa.com/
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| i done told you, nelson .... |
| posted by: simplicissimus |
16:48 6.12.09 |
you do *not* look good in a perm.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/8096912.stm |
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| you got competiiton.... |
| posted by: simplicissimus |
23:57 4.28.09 |
| http://video.yahoo.com/network/100284668?v=4956499&l=3774740 |
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| nelson....i thought we made peace last night! |
| posted by: simplicissimus |
10:47 6.13.08 |
i had read this week in the slate.com article about how much dogs hate those automatic vacuum cleaners. one guy mentioned that as soon as he started "reprimanding" the device in front of the dog, the dog totally chilled out and starting ignoring it.
hence, last night you, nelson, when noticed my feet and were about to begin that nightly seranade of 5 seconds of growling, a lunge at the feet, and then jumping off the bed...i did it.
i sat up, pointed at my foot and said loudly, and firmly (jabbing my finger for effect): "bad foot! bad foot!" and felt udderly ridiculous.
and i'll be damend if you didn't stop mid-growl. exhale loudly. and go back to sleep.
by the way, i'm really psyched that you are now spending 85% of the night OFF the bed. it's much appreciated. |
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| [ shudder ] |
| posted by: nelson_the_dog |
10:39 6.13.08 |
http://www.thecommonreview.org/bookends.html
this the most chilling thing i have ever read using my patentned canine literacy device...
_________________
"First of all, characterizing Orson as 'a good dog' is simply misleading—less an accurate assessment of behavior than an indication of hope—for it ignores the fact that Orson is, well, a bad dog from the start. He’s aggressive and recalcitrant. He refuses to learn commands, he fails to learn to herd sheep. He chases school buses, he shatters glass doors. Throughout, Katz is dedicated to the unremitting task of trying at once to make Orson good and to make good himself with Orson. He salutes the animal as most likely his “lifetime” dog: 'His spirit seemed parallel to mine. There was a link, a connection, that I couldn’t explain. But I felt it nonetheless.' Yet the feeling, it seems clear, is forged on the basis of Orson’s being, say, the sort of dog who disdains puppies or who can’t seem to help chasing squirrels.
When Orson goes after a Seeing Eye dog, Katz poses the question: 'How do you love a dog like that? And, more interesting, why?' A Good Dog proceeds through ignoring the second question and focusing on the first. Eventually you love an Orson by giving him not only standard veterinary care but special holistic therapy. You try not to judge Orson unfavorably in comparison to other, calmer or more instinctively gifted Border Collies. You cherish what you can—especially in Katz’s case, the times with Orson while riding an ATV, which the dog loves. But increasingly it becomes impossible to ignore how he is becoming 'unraveled,' most alarmingly when he begins to 'nip' people and then to attack them—once tearing off the T-shirt of a student helper and biting her just below the neck.
After Orson rips the sleeve of a neighbor boy, Katz considers his choices: a more secure kennel for Orson, a new home, more specialist care, or euthanasia from the local vet. After careful deliberation, he chooses the last.
_____________________
i'm terrified....orson, nelson, orson, nelson...somebody get me out of this nuthouse before simplicissimus decides that, merely because i attack feet and have a tendency to snap at visitors, i'm off to the glue factory....
help..... |
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| better make sure that nelson.. |
| posted by: publius |
22:32 8.5.07 |
he of uncertain breeding, isn't one of the killer "slave guarding" dogs kept by ving rhames...
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The actor discussed dogs during a 1999 interview with the Los Angeles Times, describing a 1-year-old Fila Brasileiro (Brazilian Mastiff) he owned at the time as having been bred to guard slaves.
"It was the only dog they found that had the temperament to guard a slave," Rhames said in the interview. "It could be around you every day, but if you tried to run away..."
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/03/people.vingrhames.dogs.reut/index.html |
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| stealer of italian beef sandwi |
| posted by: simplicissimus |
20:58 5.27.07 |
add that to his list of titles.
so i'm sitting here, eschewing all memorial day plans in order to watch the cavs...to the tribe...back to the cavs...back to the tribe on tnt/espn and the phone rings.
"are you missing a dog?"
"uh, i don't think so he's out back."
"no, he's in the alley out back and he just ate my italian beef sandwich."
"uh, ok."
i go outside and there's some sketchy-ish dude, with a woman (they live four houses down the street) who is skreetching from the second story back porch "there's daddy, nelson, there's daddy".
the guy reminds me...12 times in the space of 3 minutes....that he was "really hungry" and nelson "freaked [him] out...and then he ate half of my italian beef".
i reach in my pocket, fully intending on giving him $5 (for "the trouble" as he says). all i got is a $20.
i am now $20 poorer. but oh so much happier imagining nelson sneaking out of the (open?!?) back gate, going down the alley, climbing a set of stairs and stealing (half) a guy's italian beef sandwhich. |
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| it all makes sense... |
| posted by: simplicissimus |
18:47 7.5.06 |
nelson is barking at the all the ghosts who inhabit the long-since-demolished paulina connector station....
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thirdrail/24326607/
from now on, i'm telling everyone i live at the old paulina connector station. |
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| can finally earn his keep |
| posted by: ludwig |
12:29 10.14.05 |
I know thex vex you so. Issue your crie de coeur.
http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-squirrel14.html |
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| have you been spying on me |
| posted by: ludwig |
19:11 7.5.05 |
Nelson could camouflage himself with ease making the theft of a "still warm, hot-cross bun" a crime for which he would not need to answer.
http://www.gadgetryblog.com/gadgetryblog/2005/07/dog_disguise_ki.html
http://www.tentfort.com/show_thread_posts.asp?thread_id=170 |
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| in case you haven't figured it |
| posted by: nelson_the_dog |
23:34 10.10.04 |
i got mad skills.
but all this celebrity is making me hungry.... |
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| What have you been doing when |
| posted by: simplicissimus |
17:01 10.9.04 |
| http://dogshatebush.com/dogs_036.htm |
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