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Ridiculous Article Titles bombs away! posted by: publius 21:25 9.7.10 "tylenol-loaded mice dropped from air to control snakes" http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/07/tylenol-loaded-mice-dropped-from-air-to-control-snakes/ "look.....12 dead snakes!" "lewd acts with a mannequin" posted by: hlk_rumsey 11:44 8.9.10 http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/100232884.html lemurs! posted by: publius 09:47 8.3.10 http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/video/2010/aug/03/lemurs-madagascar there's hope for justin bieber yet... posted by: publius 10:08 7.22.10 http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/22/late-blooming-lesbians-women-sexuality goose with arrow in neck still evades capture posted by: publius 13:35 6.18.10 http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/17/goose-with-arrow-in-neck-still-evades-captors/ Man Wants to Go Barefoot in Ohio Statehouse posted by: camdolphin 15:53 4.28.10 http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2010/04/28/us/AP-US-ODD-Ohio-Statehouse-Barefoot.html?_r=1 Man loses licence after drink-driving (sic) in toy Barbie car posted by: camdolphin 17:11 4.20.10 Oh, those brits. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7606600/Man-loses-licence-after-drink-driving-in-toy-Barbie-car.html "Mr Hutton, who has four children Simon, 17, Calum, 14, Laina, 12, and John, 11, admitted being a 'complete twit'." Not sure why they had to drag the children into this. not playing opposum... posted by: publius 22:18 3.27.10 Police report attempt to revive flattened opossum http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/26/opossum.drunk/index.html?hpt=T2 the link from the home page was even better and more cryptic: Man drunk, opposum dead, CPR futile another example... posted by: publius 16:04 1.15.10 where it is teaser link to the article which is great, and not the actual headline used in the article. this article, about david nutt (his second appearance in this thread - see post from 11.1.09), a government drugs advisor in england who was recently fired carries the headline: "Sacked drugs adviser David Nutt launches rival committee" while the teaser from the guardian home page is: "Sacked Nutt starts rival drugs panel" which immediately brings up a mental image of an UNsacked nut, which is truly unpleasant... http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/15/david-nutt-drugs-independent-committee it's not actually an article headline... posted by: publius 10:15 1.14.10 but the teaser link to an article on the front page of cnn about the earthquake in haiti, in which tens of thousands of people are estimated to have died, is: "communication down, heartache up" jesus i hope whoever wrote that gets fired. incredibly... posted by: simplicissimus 14:18 12.22.09 mr. stang apparently "mischeveously conceived and perpetrated that he was born and raised in the boston suburb of chelsea, though he was actually born and raised in brooklyn." my pops was born and raised in the boston suburb of chelsea/winthrop. having spent much time there, it would sorta be like claiming you were born and raised in 1940s tremont (cleveland), or 1940s bridgeport (chicago), or any other gritty, intensely-jewish/italian/slavic neighborhood of a northern city. in other words, wouldn't brooklyn fit that bill best? i hope mr. stang received some sort of benefit for making the claim, cause it sure as hell makes no sense to me. is this in the right place? posted by: hlk_rumsey 14:07 12.22.09 or should it be posted in "bring out your dead"? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091222/ap_en_ot/us_obit_stang Since I have never heard of this guy, Ill assume it is safe to post the link in the RATS thread. stop plate tectonics! posted by: publius 09:31 12.18.09 in college some guy who was a geology major had a shirt with the tagline "stop plate tectonics". i think of it every time i see someone declaring war on ridiculous things, the "war on terror" being the most obvious example. and here is today's entry from ruben navarette jr over at cnn: "violence based on hate has to stop" really going out on a limb with that one, aren't you ruben? but while we're stopping violence, why only violence based on hate? what about violence based on loving misunderstandings? what about violence based on extreme dislike, but which falls demonstrably short of violence based on hate? i think it is quite clear from his waffling views that ruben navarette is soft on violence! if we follow him down the road to stopping violence based on hate, pretty soon violence based on all kinds of other things will spring up all over the show. we must stop ruben navarette before he ruins this fine country of ours with an outpouring of violence not based on hate! http://www.cnn.com/2009/OPINION/12/18/navarrette.civil.rights.prosecutions.shenandoah/index.html bring the monkey to justice!!! posted by: publius 23:32 12.7.09 http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/12/07/connecticut.chimp.attack/index.html ah, the queen's english... posted by: publius 18:04 11.1.09 best guardian headline since sir alistair hogson-tea bagged a rhino.... http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/nov/01/david-nutt-alan-johnstone-drugs Forget about the article text... posted by: spacehippie 01:35 10.27.09 ...all you need is the headline and the accompanying photo: http://www.abqjournal.com/abqnews/abq-cityseeker/16615-another-good-use-for-vaseline.html posted by: hlk_rumsey 13:31 8.21.09 http://tinyurl.com/nhq8qf i never imagined 12 hours ago it could get better... posted by: simplicissimus 22:32 7.21.09 ...and yet it just did. best title ever. http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/07/company-denies-its-robots-feed-on-the-dead/ first double-post worthy story in tentfort history... posted by: simplicissimus 14:34 7.21.09 unknown monkey robbing a store in texas. hat tip to hlk. http://www.ksdk.com/news/national/story.aspx?storyid=180614&catid=28 how else would you expect them to die? posted by: publius 18:24 7.3.09 http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529935,00.html?test=latestnews mj rip posted by: publius 13:21 6.26.09 yes, we're all very sad that michael jackson has passed at the age of 50...but please don't take our internets... http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/06/26/michael.jackson.internet/index.html attack chimp! posted by: publius 13:37 6.20.09 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090620/ap_on_re_us/us_chimpanzee_attack whacking day... posted by: publius 12:52 6.11.09 "look....12 dead snakes..." http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090611/od_nm/us_snakes_1 Homer, you just killed Zombie Flanders! posted by: spacehippie 10:11 4.13.09 http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/10/woody.harrelson.zombie/index.html?iref=newssearch Seeing as how CNN sells t-shirts emblazoned with their headlines on their website, it's no surprise that there stories show up in this thread so often. But this is a good one, nevertheless. that dastardly bluebeard! posted by: publius 07:35 4.9.09 http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/04/09/clinton-deeply-concerned-about-pirate-attacks-2/ not to be deterred... posted by: publius 13:06 1.18.09 byt the fact that he was already dead... "tom cruise says grew up wanting to kill hitler" http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090118/en_nm/us_cruise_valkyrie_korea_3 of all the batty, absurd, self-serving statements which get made when hollywood and the holocaust collide (will we ever tire of this collision? i certainly hope so), surely herr cruise wins the award for the most batty and the most absurd and the most self-serving: _________ "I always wanted to kill Hitler, I hated him. As a child studying history and looking at documents, I wondered, why didn't someone stand up and try to stop it?...When I read the script, it was entertaining and informative to know what the challenges were and what it was like to be in the environment. I've never heard of this story before... It turned out to be an incredible adventure, just to be there and shoot at these locations that Stauffenberg was. It was a very powerful experience and hopefully it will communicate with the audience....It has certainly influenced my life, just knowing that there were people who tried to stop him (Hitler)." __________ ah, yes, the young tom cruise "studying history and looking at documents" after the first sentence, if you actually try to figure out what he is saying, you quickly become lost...because he really doesn't say much of anything...i mean, what the hell does this sentence really mean: "When I read the script, it was entertaining and informative to know what the challenges were and what it was like to be in the environment." sharks are pussies.... posted by: publius 18:01 12.30.08 "Sharks have wimpy bites, study finds" http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081230/sc_nm/us_sharks_bite most ridiculous article of all time? it very well could be... and take your holy underwear with you! posted by: publius 18:49 11.11.08 article on cnn: Holocaust survivors to Mormons: Stop baptisms of dead Jews http://us.cnn.com/2008/US/11/11/baptizing.dead.jews.ap/index.html how many more reasons do we need to convince the unconvinced that mormonism is...how shall we say it...a little bit suspect and a lot bit scary... for posterity.... posted by: publius 13:41 8.22.08 yeah, but CNN posted by: squisshy 13:38 8.22.08 also has a prominently-placed story about a potato that looks like Mickey Mouse, so it's got its fair share of real news too. http://www.cnn.com/US/ (look under videos) go quickly... posted by: publius 13:33 8.22.08 if you go to the cnn home page right now, there is a big banner headline at the top of the page as a "live developing story". the headline? Horse being rescued from ditch in Florida. you just can't make this stuff up. http://us.cnn.com/ unfortunately... posted by: publius 16:28 6.5.08 the headline in the article is not the same as one on their homepage which reads: "Billion dollars pledged for food fight" that would be some food fight...if only john belushi were alive to mc it... http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/06/05/food.summit/index.html first off... posted by: publius 15:50 3.21.08 i doubt there is a single person on the island of goa who does not have at least a few illicit substances running through their blood. second...how weird would it be to be known as "goa death girl"? http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/03/21/india.tourist.ap/index.html "for religious reasons" you un posted by: simplicissimus 10:28 3.10.08 http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/03/10/frozen.body.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview naturally, "...They also found porch swings, toy night-vision goggles and large sake bottles with lamp sockets stuffed into their spouts in the hotel room..." hillary in a menage a quatre? posted by: simplicissimus 17:58 2.29.08 "Chelsea is the seed of Web Hubbell and not Bill Clinton. Would I bet my life on it? No. I would bet my pickup truck," he declares between bites of salmon. "Hillary Clinton was sleeping with both of her law partners, Webb Hubbell and Vince Foster. And she's a lesbian, too." read on... http://www.sptimes.com/2008/02/29/Worldandnation/Some_people_just_love.shtml Even barefoot posted by: rahoohl_dewk 09:49 2.29.08 "Homeowner: 'It's very easy to outrun lava'" http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/02/29/hawaii.volcano.ap/index.html Don't Do the Dew: A case invol posted by: rabble-rouser 13:42 1.25.08 http://www.tucsonweekly.com/gbase/Currents/Content?oid=47130 How's this for an introductory paragraph in a news story: "Tucson porn-proprietor Tyrone Henry wants you to know that blowing your load on the faces of blindfolded, underage girls who think they're participating in a facial cream marketing study is not fraud or any other crime, no matter what the Arizona Court of Appeals said last month. He also wants you to know he was framed." do we really think... posted by: publius 17:01 1.10.08 http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080110/pl_nm/usa_politics_dc_100;_ylt=AhkZr.jMj0tzeIueAkXXi6QE1vAI that there are a large number of americans who were on the edge of their seats to see who kerry would endorse? seriously... posted by: publius 16:31 1.10.08 using the word "toddler" and "cock" in the same sentence is well....creepy. love it. great album but terrible artic posted by: hlk_rumsey 15:50 1.10.08 http://www.glidemagazine.com/hiddentrack/?p=1409/ oh.... posted by: publius 21:57 1.8.08 you mean besides the obvious... http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/01/08/bond.stamps.ap/index.html this post could have gone in m posted by: publius 20:05 12.22.07 the "walker tr" thread...the "it's funny because it's true" thread... but i think it belongs here: _______________________ Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure By Christine Kearney Fri Dec 21, 7:21 PM ET Tough-guy actor and martial arts expert Chuck Norris sued publisher Penguin on Friday over a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name, based on a satirical Internet list of "mythical facts" about him. Penguin published "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" in November. Author Ian Spector and two Web sites he runs to promote the book, including www.truthaboutchuck.com, are also named in the suit. The book capitalizes on "mythical facts" that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris' tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said. It includes such humorous "facts" as "Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried" and "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits," the suit said, as well as "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard." "Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit alleges. Norris, who rose to fame in the 1970s and 1980s as the star of such films as "The Delta Force" and "Missing in Action," says the book's title would mislead readers into thinking the facts were true. "Defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris's name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit," said the lawsuit. The suit, filed in Manhattan federal court, seeks unspecified monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights. Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is associated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee. A spokesman for Penguin, owned by Britain's Pearson, was not immediately available for comment. (Editing by Michelle Nichols and Todd Eastham) http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071222/en_nm/norris_lawsuit_dc_1;_ylt=AqTp6gdicY6KHxnRte7e9XkE1vAI unfortunately the article head posted by: publius 23:12 12.12.07 is not the same as the teaser on the cnn home page, which was "why don't pregnant women tip over?" http://edition.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/12/12/pregnancy.balance.ap/index.html robots, clinton, sista souljah posted by: simplicissimus 16:57 12.11.07 this story has it all. http://www.nbc4.com/news/14823373/detail.html (and, yes, there's video). "we're in love" posted by: hlk_rumsey 13:10 10.29.07 http://tinyurl.com/35kya2 my favorite line "He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however. Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993." when monkeys attack... posted by: publius 10:41 10.22.07 http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/10/22/india.monkeyattack.ap/index.html i wonder... posted by: publius 23:22 10.17.07 if they wore madras shorts and drank rum punches... http://edition.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/10/17/early.seafood.ap/index.html fun times in paw paw. posted by: hlk_rumsey 09:40 6.7.07 http://tinyurl.com/3awsgp it's nice to see our generatio posted by: simplicissimus 12:22 4.4.07 http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0407/3391.html "negligent dancing"... posted by: publius 12:06 4.4.07 http://edition.cnn.com/2007/LAW/04/03/negligent.dancing.ap/index.html eating, drinking, and smoking. posted by: simplicissimus 09:33 3.29.07 http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=417334&cc=5901&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines "exhaustion" is just so 20th century. on squisshy's article... posted by: horsebeater 17:47 3.22.07 ... Justice Ginsberg needs to talk to her grandkids and get updated or something: **** Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg suggested Frederick's banner [which said "Bong Hits for Jesus"] was ambiguous enough not to support claims he was promoting illegal drug use. "One can look at these words and say it's just nonsense," she said. "It isn't clear that this is 'Smoke Pot.'" **** this is simply beyond the pale posted by: nelson_the_dog 04:15 3.22.07 though any news story involving dogs and pirates is, by definition, pretty cool.... http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/03/22/malaysia.dogs.reut/index.html burf. posted by: squisshy 19:15 3.19.07 http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/03/19/free.speech/index.html posted by: hlk_rumsey 11:42 2.28.07 what the hell, I already have gonorrhea why not throw in some crabs.... http://tinyurl.com/yuu7r9 oh come on simpli posted by: isidorus 22:09 2.22.07 off your high horse please. as one who's personally showered strippers with tens of thousands in cash, i can tell you, the visual is quite nice. oh i'm sorry... posted by: simplicissimus 18:54 2.22.07 ...they were just shot, not killed. the key phrase? posted by: simplicissimus 18:53 2.22.07 "for visual effect" http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2775250&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines wonder how it feels to be so fucking stupid, and how being so fucking stupid costs people their lives. grim... posted by: publius 14:24 2.18.07 http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/02/18/india.skeletons/index.html ok, so it's not the title... posted by: simplicissimus 09:23 1.23.07 ...and the event is no laughing manner. but follow the link and find the phrase, "this is bread". http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6290361.stm i think i'm gonna start using that one. "New Jersey eyed as source of posted by: prankmonkey 09:31 1.9.07 http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/09/nyc.odor.ap/index.html The teaser from the main page is even better: "NYC's Suspect in Foul Odor Mystery: New Jersey" HA! posted by: rabble-rouser 10:30 1.3.07 I like the attention to detail that motivated the reporter to mention that the accident happened while she was playing the Current Events 2006 Edition. . . . with the yellow piece. I usually like playing drinking games with beer or mixed drinks. Games with shots get ugly fast. Zonk is a obviously a classic smoking game that comes unraveled pretty quickly. But playing a game with shots and blunts, that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. It wouldn't take me long to insist that every answer was "Show Me the Money with William Fucking Shatner, You Dirty SONS OF BITCHES!!!!" Stupid posted by: simplicissimus 20:33 1.2.07 (but funny). http://www.nbc5.com/news/10653018/detail.html one question: why does this article mention the fact that she was "the yellow piece"? one command: from here on out, the yellow piece will be re-named "the flurisha piece" for all games of trivial pursuit. Tops v. Bottoms for the World posted by: rahoohl_dewk 09:19 12.29.06 http://www.cleveland.com/plaindealer/stories/index.ssf?/base/sports/1167298222204960.xml&coll=2 wtf posted by: rabble-rouser 09:53 12.8.06 http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/NEWS/India/Indian_men_dont_measure_up/articleshow/738607.cms Dude, did that say "high" cour posted by: spacehippie 02:20 12.2.06 http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/12/01/scotus.bonghits/index.html?eref=rss_topstories Mmmmmm, patriotism. posted by: spacehippie 23:16 11.17.06 http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/11/17/deepfried.flags.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories looking good, lady! posted by: hlk_rumsey 11:46 11.10.06 http://tinyurl.com/y9u2kz occult powers through lewd dan posted by: simplicissimus 09:37 11.10.06 http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-11-10T135101Z_01_DEL30254_RTRUKOC_0_US-EUNUCHS.xml&src=rss similarly, not an article, but posted by: rabelais 12:22 11.5.06 here's the blurb on a poster for a b-movie horror flick that i recently saw advertised: there are 40 million sheep in new zealand. and they're pissed. "black sheep." for some reason, the image of 40 million pissed off sheep just makes me giggle maddly. well, it's not an article... posted by: publius 22:54 11.4.06 rather the name of a television episode... while scrolling through the tv listings on zap2it.com to see which football games are on tv tmrw (pats and colts are the sunday night game...nice...) i happened to notice this, the title of an episode of the amazing race which airs sunday night as well: He Can't Swim but He Can Eat Cow Lips! http://tinyurl.com/y5tzgb quite. you got to let the smoke...flo posted by: rabble-rouser 14:47 10.13.06 http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/americas/10/12/canada.troops.marijuana.reut/index.html i thought ted rall made this u posted by: publius 12:12 10.13.06 but apparently not... http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,1890286,00.html disney mascot sex... posted by: simplicissimus 11:11 10.13.06 big deal, right. right. but notice how the reporter artfully handles the question of whether the offending chipmunk was "chip" or "dale". http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-10-13T124618Z_01_N12361359_RTRUKOC_0_US-DISNEY.xml&src=rss is there a difference? aren't they just two of the exact same costumes? do the actors themselves even know which one they are? does anybody? ever? i fear these questions are unanswerable. the title is somewhat ridiculo posted by: publius 11:26 8.16.06 but the article in its entirety is even more ridiculous... "JOHANNESBURG, South Africa (Reuters) -- Southern Africa's Catholic bishops have warned priests to stop moonlighting as witch doctors, fortune tellers and traditional healers, and to rely on Christ for miracles." http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/africa/08/16/africa.catholic.witchcraft.reut/index.html i think i would very much like to moonlight as a witch doctor...anybody got any leads for me there? woo, woo, jugaloo! posted by: simplicissimus 11:45 8.10.06 i'll say it one more time: woo, woo, jugaloo! certainly better than that bus posted by: publius 10:51 8.10.06 http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/08/10/goat.king.reut/index.html woo woo jugaloo! posted by: simplicissimus 20:25 7.14.06 indeed. http://today.reuters.com/news/newsarticle.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-07-14T190228Z_01_N13248459_RTRUKOC_0_US-CRIME-CLOWNS1.xml&src=rss what can you say, really.... posted by: publius 12:16 7.7.06 http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/africa/07/07/cameroon.breastironing.reut/index.html please read this... posted by: simplicissimus 12:37 6.29.06 ...it involves "penis pumps" and judiciary. and the article is full of quotes that will make me laugh for the next week. especially those from the court reporter.... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060628/ap_on_re_us/indecent_exposure um...ouch? posted by: hlk_rumsey 11:27 6.29.06 http://tinyurl.com/rzphz damned unruly goat... posted by: publius 19:48 6.24.06 http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/06/24/goat.demoted.ap/index.html that'll teach him not to drive posted by: publius 18:11 6.16.06 http://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20060615203409990006&ncid=NWS00010000000001 this reminds me of an onion ar posted by: isidorus 20:30 5.11.06 specifically, the classic one about the supreme court. http://theedge.bostonherald.com/teenNews/view.bg?articleid=138651 ======================= and for old time's sake: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30137 Connecticut to ban ejaculation posted by: isidorus 23:47 4.17.06 from the hartford courant http://tinyurl.com/fdzlp bizarre title. posted by: simplicissimus 00:03 4.15.06 but most. bizarre. article. ever. ripped from the pages of the onion: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060415/people_nm/libya_usa_dc snake robots! posted by: publius 23:10 4.13.06 robot demand rising! call breadstick! call pepperoni! http://edition.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/04/12/snake.robot.ap/index.html pirate's vs. ninja's posted by: hlk_rumsey 15:04 4.12.06 http://tinyurl.com/qhdaq i can't decide... posted by: publius 21:00 4.4.06 if this wackjob professor's "research", or the fact that cnn decided to do a news story on it, is more disturbing... http://edition.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/04/04/jesus.science.reut/index.html clearly... posted by: publius 13:40 4.1.06 this guy never had rp torn throw wrenches at him... http://edition.cnn.com/2006/US/03/31/dodgeball.assault.ap/index.html three talaqs and yer out.... posted by: publius 09:46 3.27.06 http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/03/27/india.religion.reut/index.html It's like, no big deal, man. posted by: spacehippie 20:55 3.22.06 I've never read "Eats, Shoots & Leaves", but I imagine it's chock full of stuff like this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11946956/ strangest one yet... posted by: simplicissimus 09:17 3.17.06 read the story, it's like a joke: http://www.woai.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=EE418016-0667-4C62-9602-0C699962154F it almost rhymes, it's almost posted by: simplicissimus 20:55 3.15.06 this is what we call a "five tool" ridiculous article title.... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060316/ap_en_mu/people_fats_domino bong hits 4 jesus... posted by: simplicissimus 11:05 3.12.06 http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060310/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_rights_banner_1 uhm...ok. go to www.foxnews.com posted by: ludwig 17:21 3.8.06 scroll down to "today's features" and you'll see what I mean. Mark link? (!) posted by: isidorus 14:27 3.8.06 where? you have to see the web page posted by: ludwig 12:44 3.8.06 but there's a link of Foxnews.com that has a lovely picture of Terri Hatcher (if you find her lovely). She's smiling, looks like she's about to laugh . . . you look to the right and the article linked to the pciture is "Hatcher: I was molested" Given the picture, I almost expected that there be would be a zesty exclamation point at the end of the title. dr. faustus at left wing.... posted by: publius 11:26 3.8.06 http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060308/sp_nm/hockey_nhl_dc It's not funny 'cause it's tru posted by: spacehippie 01:18 3.1.06 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4761294.stm for fuck's sake... posted by: publius 11:32 2.26.06 http://us.cnn.com/2006/LAW/02/25/schlosser.trial.ap/index.html Sit, boy. Sit! posted by: spacehippie 20:59 2.25.06 Now get on the ground and don't move: http://famulus.msnbc.com/famulusgen/ap02-25-081406.asp?t=apnew&vts=22520061755 non-overlapping magisteria? posted by: simplicissimus 22:01 2.23.06 how else could one resolve the age old riddle regarding the decidedly darwinian "jurassic beaver" and the obviously faith-based "chicken limbo"? http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060223/us_nm/retail_miltonbradley_recall_dc jurassic beaver! posted by: publius 16:51 2.23.06 http://us.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/02/23/jurassic.beaver.ap/index.html oh, it works on so many levels... this is the grimmest headline. posted by: publius 14:34 2.17.06 i have ever seen... http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/africa/02/17/zimbabwe.fetuses.ap/index.html i would really have like to wi posted by: simplicissimus 15:07 6.22.05 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050622/ap_on_fe_st/popsicle_disaster father daniel's quote in the b posted by: simplicissimus 19:48 6.18.05 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4107524.stm (the goat one) posted by: publius 13:56 6.15.05 wasn't there... posted by: publius 13:56 6.15.05 an episode of miami vice just like that? they just keep on coming... posted by: simplicissimus 13:55 6.15.05 http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/4611894/detail.html wow....! posted by: simplicissimus 13:55 6.15.05 http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05166/521991.stm WORST ONE EVER. posted by: simplicissimus 12:39 6.15.05 http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=44779 "flipping noises"... posted by: publius 11:13 6.7.05 http://www.thisislondon.com/news/articles/19144873 how very true... posted by: publius 00:49 6.3.05 too bad they misspelled "cocks"... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=568&e=6&u=/nm/20050602/bs_nm/financial_sec_dc does *hair* count as part of t posted by: simplicissimus 16:43 5.24.05 wow. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050524/ap_on_en_mu/phil_spector if you don't get off, the terr posted by: simplicissimus 15:19 5.24.05 http://www.news-press.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050524/NEWS01/50524006/1075 fish in a barrel posted by: publius 15:50 5.18.05 http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=583&e=3&u=/nm/20050518/od_nm/science_porcupine_dc (or RATS)... posted by: simplicissimus 15:42 5.18.05 Every day it seems I am greeted by an absurd title to a news article. you know the kind, it sounds like it was created by a random word generator. This will be my respository of them all. for far too long i have ignored them, but no longer. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050518/ap_on_re_eu/piano_man